Thursday, March 4, 2010

Of Judgement Days and Doomsday

It all started in March 1996 when Larry Page set out to “develop the enabling technologies for a single integrated and universal digital library.” What started then as a tiny Ph.D. web crawling spider, has now mutated into monstrous myriapod. Yes I am talking of
 In 2003, it took over the reins of Pyra Labs ( and changed the definition of freedom to speak your Skiewpoint. Slowly and steadily, it has been deepening its web presence in the World Wide Web. It gave Flickr and Picasa for the Ugly and ‘Not so beautiful’ people to get noticed. The beautiful ones don’t need to toil this hard to get noticed, they simply blog.
Then Google widened its scope from intercontinental to interplanetary, courtesy Google Mars and Moon. It is developing new technologies and is on a rampage when it comes to tapping potential online markets, be it ‘You Tube’ or ‘Upstartle’ (responsible for google word processor you all use today). Google’s the second name for internet search these days.
It is also investing in alternative energies, and other promising fields that can extend human habitability on earth for a little longer. Google recruits the best brains from around the world. Ever took a moment off Google to wonder why? It’s a plan!
Google’s making androids nowadays; it would make a humanoid army subsequently. But Rule Number One says Robots shall not harm humans. Forget it, they aren’t any robots, they’re humanoids, driven mechanically but thinking like humans. That’s why they don’t recruit dummies because even a single emotion could make them ‘Wall E’. Google could be the next Skynet Corporation.
Google asks for our permission to anonymously gather information about our internet usage. It is being monitored, and who knows that even if we said no to such offers, they won’t be tracking our activities. Each user might be having his file in google database. Few years from now, google can tell exactly when you wake up and when you are in the loo. So on the Judgment day, they would know where and when to find Connor.
The Resistance? There would be no place to hide, for google maps shall track you. The web spider shall crawl into the deepest roots to seek you out. You would have just two options, surrender willingly immediately, or surrender later unwillingly. Nothing would improve your chances of being better later on.
Every dreamer is making predictions these days. They say that 2012 is the year when something terrible would happen to mankind, sort of Armageddon. An insomniac, Nancy Lieder was possibly abducted by gray head ETs, who gave her a brain implant, which would receive breaking news and announcements from the Republic (or maybe Darth Vader). Either they made a wrong choice in choosing her, or they were a bunch of retards, outcaste from their planet. Because what she received and propagated was that Nibiru collision was eminent in 2003, though the Republic revised the dates to 2010 due to unavailability of an appropriate planet worth smashing.
The Mayan pioneers who invented the Mayan calendar rejoiced to have found the date when the new b'ak'tun was to begin. And no, the calendar did not end there, more dates were predicted. But who can help the propagandists who suffer from short sightedness?
So, I have also thought of a new calendar. Presently it is year one. The day Google takes over, year two starts. In the night between these two, I shall be joining forces with google.
What about you?
*If you want to prevent Google from taking control then I’d suggest 2 remedies:
1.            Make a better search engine and prevent the Doomsday.
This seems a little tough right now. Only possible if the Resistance has discovered Google’s plans and have started working and expanding their user base, and you happen to be a part of the Resistance.
2.            Stop using Internet after having read this post. Let this be your Judgment day.
                I know you won’t be doing that either. 

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