Saturday, April 24, 2010

Happy Earth Day Mother!

Dear Mother,
I really wished this letter could find you in good health. Hope, would be a wrong word to use here as I have come to realize that I have been a very bad son of late and your poor health is much to my credit. Not paying any heed to your warnings, lavishing at your fast ending reserves, and that too without any sense of gratitude. I just added more wrinkles to your beautiful face.
Ma, I am sorry. I have been an ignorant child. My hunger for wealth had made me blind. I failed to see what I might be doing to my own family, to you. I grew stronger day by day, but it was all outwardly. Inside, this lust hollowed me like a termite.
You nourished me, sustained me, and helped me grow. You were my pillow when I wanted to sleep and your silken fringe was my hide out, when lightening scared me. And what did I do to you? Sold your jewels, brought you down to rags and still didn’t care. I have crossed you, wronged you and literally abused you. Mother, I am sorry. You covered me with a blanket to protect me from cold. The very same blanket lit up with your warm benevolence in the sun. And I, made holes in it. You lit my skies with deep blue and I painted them, most of the times with black and sometimes with crimson.
I was supposed to be a good son. I was supposed to make my mother proud. You are the only one in this limitless cosm who could have accepted me. And look what I did? I dried the tears of your eyes. Now I look forward to see that rain again, for it is my elixir of life.
All along, you didn’t say a word. Never let out a sigh, or a wail of disgust. You just smiled, and patted me for everything I achieved. Though everything I did took its toll on you, you have always been there. The smell of success intoxicated me. I lost my sense of right or wrong. I just wanted one thing, power (or prosperity as some may call it). You were my constant support, and I took you for granted.
When you hit me, it was to warn me. And I did not realize it. I cried out, and in anger asked, “Why? Why did you do this to me?” Never did I wonder, how many times I might have tortured you, and that too, while donning a guilt free grin on my face. I failed to see, how much it might have pained you, when I mercilessly plucked little trees from your skin. I scourged your fingers, cut them deep, and when it oozed lava, I just ran away, without making arrangements for bandages to the wounds that I had inflicted. I dug deep into your skin, with no anesthesia, and plundered whatever material pleasures I could derive from it.
I am sorry mother, for all that I have done. I have been a complete idiot. I have hurt you, and the wounds I have given, won’t heal that easily. I realize my follies, and I want to rewind. I want to restore you, to re-ornate you. I know you are upset, and you have every right to be so. But trust me mother, I will do whatever I am capable of. My true power is you, and I cannot afford to lose my mother.
You are growing old, and I want to rejuvenate you. I am nothing without you. You are my ground to stand and my sky to soar. Above all, you are my mother, and I am nothing without you. I could have never been if it was not you. I need you!
Forgive me Mother,
Your Son

Friday, April 16, 2010

Devil’s Manufacturing Plant

This has been our constant endeavour to make your stay as unpleasant and painful as it can be. We envision you as the heirs of these dutiful thrones of hellmakers and eventually, the best amongst you shall rise to be the successor to Lucifer’s throne. This makes our enterprise a totally focused and dedicated enterprise. Though we don’t follow any prescribed method of training, it is ensured that adoption of virtuous means and truthful ways is strictly forbidden. With a full time evil think tank drafting our plans, the means adopted are darker, unethical, inhumane, torturous and most unforgiving.
Every type of extracurricular activity that promotes the craving for the ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ is permitted and propagated after prior official consent. The authorities have been handpicked from amongst elite class of the business of green note crunching. Before any activity is organized, special care of their bottomless pockets is to be taken care of, or else………
Now that we have mentioned the ‘Seven Deadly Sins’, let this be clear to you that we only promote the increase in the craving and satisfaction is not our problem. We will try to suppress any sort of affairs that can lead to satisfaction, for this may drift you towards sanity. From our past, we have learned that everyone who steps in here for the first time has some goodness in him, but this eventually fades away. Young minds learn fast and pose a constant risk of toppling our authority. So, if anyone tries to cast wool over our eyes and try to get past us in this business, beware. We tolerate no offences, and will employ any ill means to suppress the upsurge.
Now here are a few customs that you should engrave in your mind for the time you are here. After that, they’ll be a part of you.
1)      Wedgucation is necessary for all to be a successful evil genius. Everyone should attend all lectures on immorality, cheating, deceiving, downgrading, person-nullity development, sadism and masochism which are being taught by experts from respective fields.
2)      Daytime is the time of the light. So no loitering around in the open.  Be at the lectures or in your cells. Skin is sensitive to holy light and that is harmful for our cause. Bathing regularly is shunned and everyone is advised not to bath so that you may develop a thick coat of dirt to protect you from Solar damage. The only exceptions are those who are taking courses in seduction and witchery, for them, bathing is necessary, but use of umbrellas is necessary.
3)      Males are encouraged to wander around in night time to develop a taste for vampiredness and a sense strong enough to detect unwary prey. Females, we know you are frail and get carried away too soon, so you are not allowed to wander around after dusk.
4)      We are bored of the number 666, and want a new number. So, we would allot many same gendered inmates the same room, and opposite genders would be kept as far as possible. This makes number 377 an obvious choice. Pay homage to the devil in highest orders through the ‘Sin of Sodomy’.
But as we have already made it clear, if we catch you, you are going to hurt as hell. But then, that is what we are preparing you for – Hell?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

What is your doodle ?

DISCLAIMER : The female reading fraternity can take a seat, relax and curse the author of this post in all rudimentary fashion. As seen as by the other joes, this joe is on a plane north bound to the wildernesses of Siberia, being called on an international assignment bordering on the process of the segregation of the emulsification, resulting in the constipation of the constitution of the nation.

Meanwhile, when you are not busy being a La Dexter boy genius in class, you also revert to whiling your time away. Be it the Short Message Service, your constant sniggering at the earnest jokes of your neighbor, or randomly laughing away at non-existent PJs (read poor jokes). But what I haven’t seen is the subject of DOODLE success.

Wondering what a doodle is? Before you tap your fingers away on the keyboard opening a new tab, let me save some time for you. A doodle is an aimless drawing which results from the spur of being in a long unproductive activity or sheer boredom. Its basic requirements are a paper and a pen/pencil. Examples can be seldom found in the corner spaces of the notebooks and are not always available for scrutiny.

The six basic types of doodles are:

1 The scientific doodle
Scribblings of this kind often involve chaotic imaginations thriving on the border of randomness. Entropy in common say has a flipside to it as well. It can perfectly conceal emotions of different kinds and seem rather distorted and aimless to an outsider but it makes perfect complicated sense when viewed by intellectuals. Specimens include Sheldon Cooper( courtesy :The Big Bang theory aired on CBS)

2 The artistic doodle
Renowned painters like Picasso and Da Vinci inspired such minds to doodle out their minds during classes. The paradigm of such artistry is a result of creativity. Yup, If you guessed creativity, you hit the nail on the coffin. Such doodles are seldom a pleasure to view at, and don’t be surprised if girls surround you 2(pi)radians if you are accustomed to such drawings.

3 The romantic doodle
Doodles involving an arrow and a heart , some flowers and a little poetry to follow the simple love constitute this doodle. Examples are seldom those aimless hippies who keep day-dreaming about angels in their lives. Ah yes ! If you are thinking what I am thinking, Jessica Alba and Elisha Cuthbert fall under the list. High Five !

4 The philosophical doodle
These doodles often involve the momentary swishing of the friction bound pen with the paper resulting in a err uhhmm, say stepped doodle, a sun emanating rays or a religious holy prayer not exactly written in a proper prayer format. Such doodles are the object of curiosity for many students as they mistakenly take it to be a holy disciple’s work. Somehow, I am inclined to think that most of the scientific thinkers somehow reverted to philosophical doodles when their brains were not being fried!

5 The abusive doodle
Girls are rather nonplussed with these doodles. After all, you wouldn’t expect a girl to scribble “Sucker !!!” on the the corner of her Math notes. Constant male abuses lie playing around with synonyms of the F-word and other stuff included.

Finally, last, and definitely the most speculative is one of our very own doodles. The number six on the list is:

6 The Barney Stinson doodle
Doodles belonging to kinds which draw their inspirations from the holy symmetric curves of the divine female, her shapes and figures being given intricate detail and her luscious beauty paid unduly attention. Most of the scribbles keep wavering between being overtly flirtatious and ridiculously funny. On a serious note, these scribblings are better kept to thy without public disclose. Some of the doodles scream out “Aint I awesome ?” in the legendary Stinson way. For more information on the same, please refer to Barney Stinson from the TV soap ‘How I met your mother’.

Other non categorized doodles such as writing your own name (signature doodle) and miscellany can be discussed in the comment area. Wondering another issue- “Which class currently in NITH makes us doodle the most ?” *Pondering head*