Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Bard of the Ogre!

Eons ago, in a small princely state of ‘Hampyre’, there dwelled an Ogre. He lived in the shire called ‘Monimesh’ along with the tenants of the King. Lazy and chubby as a hippopotamus, he could do anything for a good sleep. Lived in a small shanty, away from his mud pond, his homeland, he had forgotten how to miss his homeland. This was his home for years to come and he had surrendered to this thought.
The day was approaching, fast. Something was going on in his mind, kind of rebellious, he was. He was supposed to become quiet, bowing, gentle, soft. He was not supposed to agitate anybody. He was not supposed to challenge anybody. And yet, he did not oblige. They warned him of the coming day. He showed short temper, arrogance, disobedience. They warned him again. He paid no heed. They were his friends after all, or so he thought.
The night before that day, it came at last. Before the hands of the clock met for the last time to bid goodbye to the previous day, and welcome the next, they assembled. And they assembled with torches, they assembled with clubs, they were all geared up. The town bell announced the commencement of the new day, and it began. They carried him to the square, on their shoulders. They carried him as a deity, they carried him as a sacrifice, like the scapegoat being taken to the altars with all pomp and show. And yet, he could only force a smile.
They hauled him, grabbed him from his legs and by his arms, they made him see the sky, its darkness, the stars, the mockery from heavens, the celebrations on earth, for it was the day he was sent here. He was held in mid air by four strong men, spread apart in the four diagonals. And then, the call was made:

“To the Ogre, Welcome to this world!”
Like a sack of trash, his butts were kicked. Every leg had a new kind of zeal, even one legged creatures had their fair share. He did not believe in Gods, but he wanted Them to exist, just for today. No, he did not want to pray, he never had, he wanted Them to see, he wanted Them to hear his stubbornness, the irony of being born, the treachery of living.
And with every blow he withstood he shouted out loud for the Gods to envy... Oh yeah!!
Bring em on...!
He survived the ordeal, this wasn’t his first. The village rejoiced and sang in communion,
Welcome Ogre, Happy Birthday dear Ogre!
It was a long feast, revelry and celebrations. Such had been the tradition, such had been the way. They thanked him, and he thanked them. They were his friends after all!
And tonight he sleeps, facing away from the Lord himself... he had never believed in Him, but wanted Him to exist, just for tonight…

Monday, August 2, 2010

Season Excitement!!

I was in my room preparing Ajay’s curriculum vitae.

“Come on Saurav you shouldn’t have done that..”
“I was just making sure that I don’t get through..”

Bang!.. ok not at real bang.. The phone rings.. The most awaited ring since the morning..
It was Sharmaji for sure.. Abhijeet received the call..

“Write down the names..”
“I am on it..”

Everyone was staring at the paper as I was putting marks of graphite on it..

1. Ankush Mahajan..

“Chottey (alias Ankush) tera ho gaya.. jaldi se shave kar aur file arrange kar.. ek ghante mei interview hai!” (Ankush you are through.. Go shave your beard and arrange your file.. Interviews in an hour!)

Ankush runs away in excitement. And then once again runs back into my room asking
“Mera Sach mei ho gaya??” (am I really through??)

Finally the list wass prepared. It consisted of sixteen names. These sixteen were selected for the final round of the Samsung India placement interviews. I ran down to notify the others..

“Mani Lal tera ho gaya..” (Mani Lal you have been selected..”)

Mani Lal (aka Manish Thakur) is the hero of sports in our batch.. Not surprisingly he was playing dota.. Believe me just the news of him getting selected for the interviews made him receive uncountable butt kicks!. All I added was, “Get ready..”

“Oye patial ko dekha??..” (Hey did anyone see Patial?..)
“Patial tera bhi ho gaya..” (Patial you have been selected too..)

As soon as I notified Patial that he was selected for the interviews, there was a change of expression on his face. He went complete red. He was not happy. Rather all he could come up with was,

“yaar mai kya bolunga interview mei?. Mereko to kuch bhi nahi aata hai!..” (Mate.. what would I reply in the interview?. I don’t know anything!..)

At this everyone started laughing their asses off at him. The most prominent was Sushil exclaiming,

“Patial tu to fass gaya!!!.” (Patial you have been screwed in a trap!!!.)

At this I shouted over the laughters to Sushil..

“Sushil tera bhi ho gaya!” (Sushil even you have been selected!)

The corridor went dead silent. All were looking at each other’s face as if I had just reported an approaching earthquake. Sushil shouted back at everyone to break the silence,

“yaar koi kuch padha do.. pleeeaseee.. mereko kuch nahi aata!” (Man someone please teach me something.. Even I don’t know anything!)

Abhijeet shouted from the top floor..

“Agarwalle.. Tie.. Knot.. Jaldi.. Mai file bana raha hu apni..” (Agarwalle.. Tie.. Knot.. Fast.. I am arranging my file)
“Yes coming.. Let me inform Ashu that he has been selected too!.”

Running from room to room of the C block I reached the C “Gufa” (The CG block as they call it here at ManiMahesh Hostel). Ashu bhai was tight asleep in his slumber. Damn!. I couldn’t image Hash’s (ashu as we call him) ignorance.. Behind me people came shouting in..

“Ashu bhai utho.. aapka ho gaya hai!” (Ashu Big brother.. Wake up.. You have an interview to appear for!)

Returning to the ground floor of A block I heard Chotta and Bulls fighting. I went in and Chotta shouted at me,

“Agarwalle.. mera resume nahi bana hua hai.. bana de please..” (Agarwalle.. My resume.. It’s still unprepared.. Please help me with it..”)

His right cheek was all bleeding. Bulls chuckled,

“Khushi mei saale ne gaal bhi kaat liya..” (The moron shaved off the skin of his cheek too in excitement.)

I prepared the second resume of the day.. Sushil busted in..

“Agarwalle mera bhi..” (Agarwalle mine too..)

That was number three.

That was enough of excitement for an hour. As everyone left the hostel for the auditorium we wished them good luck. I thought of taking a long shower after all the running I had done. Somebody shouted from the back..


I saw Hash running to me..

“yaar mera bhi resume bana de.. please” (Mate prepare mine too).. 4th on the card!