Friday, May 7, 2010

Just a Thought !

Exam time is the time when real ideas of reform start flowing in our brains. It is the time when everything except syllabus books is fascinating. Our exams are also in progress and amidst all this heat, I am baffled with few more profound questions, which probably even my teachers cannot answer. Here are few of the questions I would like you all to think about when sitting in the examination hall. I am sure, you will find the answers, for you are geniuses of 21st century. I came here through time travel and my machine broke down, so I am stuck here till someone frees my machine from area 51 and repairs it.

·         Why do we call it bitching when men also gossip? Shouldn’t it be dogging for men? Why don’t bitches sue humans for spoiling their name? I am sure, humans would have wreaked havoc on the Canine family had they done something like this. (Think this; dogs have ‘insaan’ and ‘human’ in their slang dictionary. Try bitching someone by that name.)
·         Why are there fraternities and brotherhoods and no maternities, only sisterhoods? Don’t women grow old, or being in a maternity reveals their true age?
·         No matter how white snow-white was, she couldn’t be white as a white fabric, or a pearl, or snow. (She would look more of a ghost then). Nothing is absolute, everything is relative.  Even examination marking scheme. If they say its ‘absolute’, it is relative to a tutor’s knowledge. If they say its ‘relative’, the level of knowledge is often much higher.
·         If the human brain capacity is really 3.6 X 1019 bytes, then it is justified to use monkeys for experimentation because humans can be dangerous. But doesn’t anyone here have any shame? Such huge amount of memory is almost blank and never utilized. Instead we invest in new technologies like DVDs, Blue Rays discs and Solid State? No one has succeeded in storing even a single file in here. Even I am experiencing a space crunch right now, and still I am chuckling like a retard when I term each one of us as ‘retards’. (We all are retards anyway.)
·          What to talk of processing speeds. We have super-duper turbo boosted computers embedded in our skulls and we shamelessly linger around with these baby computing machines, pretending that our cranium is hollow. Some retards (Moore/ Moose) even give laws propounding the limits of computational speeds.
If anybody finds answers to any of these questions, then please, enlighten me! And if someone finds Area 51, call me right away!
P.S.          If you have scratched your head even once in this post, pondering over the question, then congratulations, for having climbed the first rung of scientific thinking. You have managed to ask "Why", now find the answer.


  1. Ah ! Exams are the times when we got bombarded with the weirdest of thoughts.Well , I had a burst of thoughts in the recent Socio exam, sad I dont remember any now. Every answer that we gave on that paper was a potential blog post ! :D

  2. 1) Words have a life of their own. I don't know when bitch either became a verb or an insult specifically designed for women. Plus, in my country (United States), people sometimes complain about men bitching.

    2) If they call them maternities, people will think that they are organizations of pregnant college women.

    3) We white people aren't really white. It's more of a pinkish beige.

    4) Computers are much more retarded than humans. As far as I know, they can't really think yet (Except for Arnold in "The Terminator.") So the dumbest human is "smarter" than the ultimate supercomputer, which can only process information like some sort of a superclerk.

    Good luck on exams. I am a teacher so I get to be on the other side (grading the damn things).

  3. @Paul
    1)Its not about the life of the words that was under scanner, but the life that they hurt. And people don't complain here either, its an eye that observes and pens things down.
    2) OK, but still, why is it bad etiquette to ask a woman her age?
    3) Where did white people come in between a snow white's story? Stories exaggerate facts and as I said, its just a thought.
    4) That is exactly what I am saying. Why use that dumb thing while making no effort to directly exploit the little thing that we have locked up inside?

    And that you have answered almost all questions, where is my time machine?