And I am back again...! Dear friends, the counterparts of the male appreciators in particular, I am so very sorry to have hurt your sentiments in a few of my previous posts. With reference to the post under the title “Sloshed and bitch” (for those who are yet to read that post and call me names, REFERENCE 1 : http://skiewpoint.blogspot.com/2009/12/sloshed-and-bitchy.html), I have received comments that have shook my conscience inside out for the past few months and to be very honest, even my slumber has not been that comfortable. I have been called by many unmentionable names by the ladies and some of my female friends even commented “Kuch zyada nahi ho gaya?” I was called a devotee of male chauvinism and my sister chided me, saying “Kya unt shunt likha hai aapne bhai... how dare you call girls bitches?”
Ho gaya? Done with all the nautanki? I have something even better this time. Yes, I agree that when I made the statement, regarding girls adding to the letters of word Vulnerable when they are drunk, I was wrong. It is now that I see, it was a mere understatement. They always had this wild cat instinct, deep inside, lurking, waiting to emerge. Alcohol is just an easier recourse, a precursor.
But again, kuch zyaada ho raha hai na?
My Lord, I’ve got proof this time. But before I present it before you, I wish to add a few more lines in my (and their) defence. I believe that Indian society has been very conservative compared to that of the outside world (REFERENCE NO. 2: Just a hint, I know that’s easy. Think of the Indians around you, who have been world trotters and still haven’t learnt anything worthwhile. Ask me if you want another hint). This conservatism has definitely led to many adverse effects on us; the most pronounced one being the growing curiosity among the youth. Curiosity killed the cat; it was a bunch of wild cats this time. Boys will be boys and girls will be girls. Boys might be the most degraded species of humans to have walked on earth, but still girls ain’t any bitches (they are cats, meow)? Whatever the ladies might do, they are ladies, nothing else. The consequences of this character liberty have become much obvious to me now, and so shall they reveal upon you too.
Without further ado, let me introduce you to someone who doesn’t need introduction – Google Inc. They have this nifty search site http://www.google.co.in for Indian people. They cluster locally generated queries and present them as options according to popularity as we type in our query. So follow the self explanatory steps. Just type “How to” and see the magic happen.
Uh, umm, I am pretty sure no male would be interested in getting pregnant whatsoever. Believe me that thing which happened in the movie “JUNIOR” with Arnold is actually impossible and every single male is aware of it.
Just to see how the contemporaries of my dearest ladies were doing in the other parts of the world, I made my ‘Destination Berlin’. I shifted over to Germany, http://www.google.de to check the consistency of results on “how to”, and this is what I got.
They are more interested in getting the lyrics of “How to save a life”, probably because our first question was answered in their classrooms by the teachers. Not like ours, who slyly skip the details, even of the reproductive system. “How to save a life”, it’s a pretty song by ‘The Fray’, and tops my playlists. But now I am thinking that after making such astounding revelations, who is going to save my life? ‘Bhalayi ka zamana to raha nahi hai ab’. It’s a bad, baaaaaad world.
I guess, I proved something with ample proof today!
So now, please, stop being such a wimp, stop foaming and fretting. Be just in mind and reason, and answer this one question;
If guys don’t mind being called dogs for the style they like to have or for the attitude they reflect, why girls should make such a fuss over being called bitches, when they are wilder than us in this regard. And even worse, that they need google to guide them for a natural instinct.
As a matter of fact for those who still find this obnoxiously unacceptable, stop dreaming, it’s a reality and you may also try it at leisure. Please understand that I have never meant any harm, it’s just my skew-view-point. Everyone has his own; only few dare to share it. And still if you are not smiling, then you were one of those who searched for that complete string. Stop being guilty conscious, BITCH!
P.S. 1 : I discovered it serendipitously when trying to get a good laptop. I was searching “How to get a good laptop”.
P.S. 2 : Do try the same for different google locations. Example: www.google.co.uk, www.google.fr, www.google.ru, and other countries. It is really interesting what questions people frequently ask!