Sunday, February 7, 2010


I don’t remember God’s exact face, and neither do I remember what instructions he gave me when he decided to send me to this Hostel-Earth. As a result, I could not start working on any target for at least 15 years. Then I started to see, things. I saw heroes, I saw villains, I saw ‘somebody s’ and I saw ‘nobody s’. Once my teacher conjured up a storm within me by asking, “Son, what do you want to be in life?” Out of ignorance, I had said I wanted to be ‘Famous’.
The idea struck and is still stuck in my head. I want to be known big time. A celebrity, a hero, a savior, a powerful entity. I want to be known – nationally, internationally. I want that when I pass from a place, people revere me. I want to be immortal.  I don’t know how I ended up doing engineering, but science has cleared my mind.
Money is good, money is near God. To get what I want, I need money. Then I thought, how? I could dig every inch of my ancestral land and find buried treasure beneath, or maybe find coal or even diamonds. Or maybe I should go by science; dig deep, and bury chunks of coal every day. Someday, they will transform into diamonds. Then I thought of being an industrialist. I have decided to start off with telecom industry, ’Sly Fox Telecom’, though opening a school or university would be more profitable. But I need at least 5000 crore rupees, even to make a start. Where will I get it from? Mind thinks of easy ways first. Get a local ‘tamanchha’, kill a mafia don and replace him. Now I am the owner of a vast empire. But what’s the fun of living on a gunpoint. So here’s my plan B.
IAS - Indian Administrative Services. I will just start my conquest from here. I shall become an IAS officer. With it shall come power. I will earn all sorts of money. Good money, bad money, white money, black money, over the table money, under the table money etc. My influence shall grow. People shall look up to me. I would be respected for being so friendly and helpful (with a little help from the other side though). I would get a red light car and what not. 
Then, at the peak of my career, I shall denounce my job and embrace politics. Time to help build the nation! With a lot of politicians under my hood and a vast ocean of commoners backing me, I shall set my own center stage. I shall become a central cabinet minister. I won’t fight over port folios, and shall set an example of humility and selflessness (Though I would prefer Railway Ministry). I shall introduce maglev into India. Metro’s shall run in place of the gauged trains. The national railways network will witness a new wave, of speed energy and profit. Ministry and Me will fill our coffers with silver and green paper. Nation would be happy and so shall I be.
Now that I have enough resources, it would be an appropriate time to live the dream I had for myself. I shall setup my company, a nationwide telecom service provider. With it shall come what has been coming since I started as IAS officer, money manifold! I won’t spend crores on embellishing my house and transforming into a beehive which grabs every bear’s attention. Rather, I would invest! I would set up new industries. Poke my nose and eventually engulf every sector of industry. I would also enter entertainment industry, even adult industry, and be the star I wanted to be at some point of my life. Out of black money shall rise a White Taj of my dreams.
I will open schools to put an end to illiteracy. Free education for the poor, free Mc Donalds’ mid day meals. I will open NGOs that would be non-governmental in real sense. I will build institutes to breed more Ranchos. Quality and not quantity shall be my aim. I shall promote science and culture equally. Equality shall prevail from the very roots and discrimination shall be on basis of merit solely.
But this would be a more localized affair, and I wish to make it large. So it would be apt to make a grand reentry into politics. This time, we are bigger and much better. So, I would be the most sought after prime ministerial candidate (and if not, then the others shall have to meet their makers, save one). As Swami ji said, I shall not stop until the goal is achieved. And then suddenly, I shall decline the post offer (The last survivor shall obviously be my pawn!). I shall be the 21st century Idol, in whom everyone shall find something for himself. It would be time to turn India into a perfect Utopia. I shall diversify, but still unify India. Think of another Europe in India, every region has its own specialty, culture and heritage, and is not allowed to imitate other regions. In short - Social Emancipation.
That done, let’s get religious. I would have seen the world and would have realized that it has only hatred to offer. I will use my long earned repute to propagate the doctrine: Modern life sucks and let’s get back to what we were before, but through scientific reasoning and research. Bhoga and Yoga go hand in hand.
 When I shall near my older age physically (I’d be 18 till I die), I’ll venture out to conquer one last hurdle. Nature’s highest position shall be mine. The Everest. If I make it through, I’ll jump from the top, otherwise……I am a legend anyhow!

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