Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Few too Many

9 point CG, doesn't it look (or sound) beautiful?
Yes! It is, it is.
One of the most exalted pulses in the lifeline of an engineer, this is our last big achievement (For most of us). But with a burden so great, even Atlas would succumb to the pressure. For those, who have this 9 pointed sword hanging by their neck, it is of utmost importance to be on the safe side. How they manage to do it, that's why am here.
Now as many of you know, this class of 9 pointers is composed of a myriad of extinct or very rare species. Each has its own way of going for the kill. Each one is 'For its own survival', only a few believe in the philosophy of "Vasudhaiva Katumbakam"(The whole world is a big joint family). Did I just make my stand clear? Anyways, here is the art, demystified.

Type 1: The Bibliophiles
As soon as you enter the room, you can gasp, "Oh Lord, build me The Noah's Ark to sail through!". Books everywhere! Near the bed, on the table, underneath it, closet stocked with books. Amongst all this chaos, sits a gloomy figure, as if bewitched (he might call himself enchanted, so beware!)by this ocean's treasure, trying to rediscover past.(Darn! Science made past so important for the future's sake) Ask him a doubt, and you will forget who you are. Complete anatomical dissection, or exhumation, or massacre, whatever you may like to name it, is then what would happen in front of you, to your doubt. By the time he finishes, either you would be falling short of hair to pull, or already in a deep trance called sleep.
Anyways, this creature deserves only one thing - A SGPI greater than 9. A '9' would be an understatement though.

Type 2: The Prodigious
These are the one's born with insight. Anything read once, is registered for a very long time.
Why did God have to be so biased in distributing memory capabilities? Gave some a large capacity Hard disk and some a floppy Disk? Even worse, some have volatile memory!
How do they pull it off? no one knows, not even them. It just happens, like a phenomenon. They constitute the most deserving and most envied lot.

Type 3: The Whiners
A very interesting sect indeed. They keep a straight forward approach - Go and beg for marks ! Ha simple? Got 38 out of 50. Not enough? Go to the teacher, and just do it.

"Sir, This question is of 5 marks and I have written more than 3 pages for it. Still you have given me just 2.5 marks? And X wrote just 1 page and got 5 on 5? I should get more marks here".

"Should"? Are you insane? Are you Begging or demanding?

"Sir, I am poor at calculations and it is just a calculation mistake. You can see Sir, the method is correct, and the steps too!"

Poor fellow, don't you know that a very small calculation mistake can lead to a plane crash or a rocket to explode, or to be stream specific, make music nothing more than squealing and screeching?

These types must be appreciated, coz they know how to sell themselves, and they are the one's who [suckceed] in life.

And take my word on this, it is the most hilarious moment when the teachers retorts to all their wailing and shoes them out of the cabin. Look at their faces and you'll know. Now go, console them, be a sadist.....It’s fun.

Type 4: The Pleasurists

Devoted to the worldly pleasure and to the needs of teachers. Much of them is unknown, as the technique is highly classified. I don't know how they know, or how they manage all favours without blowing off their secrecy. No one knows what they do, or how they do it, but they just know the secret of suc-cess. Fortunately, they are so hard to find that, they can comfortably be believed to be nonexistent; and sometimes this secret weapon of theirs only augments some of their other prowess.

Type 5: The Parrots

This group has a talent, doing everything by-heart. Learning by heart, emotions swell right from the heart, even decisions might be from the heart.
Do they have Brains? I doubt. Scientifically, it is proven that when you stop using something, it deteriorates and finally is lost. So if they are to do everything from the heart, why shouldn't the brain get upset and leave them? Its a human brain after all !
The last time I remember someone remarked on this power of someone, that person had (tried to) taken extreme steps to make the trespasser apologize.

Type 6: Draggers
This is my type. For us, being a 9 pointer is, u mm, a commodity! We don't mind if others underperform and consequently, we get to eat bigger bread. Even in the examination room, we are ready to help. All we need in return is, a Coffee (Double)? or maybe a Frappe. Getting a 9 as SGPI is serendipity, and many of us are still baffled on how to react. So don't mind for our lot, coz we mistakenly crossed the Border. Sorry for any harm, if done.

We would like to know of other specimens that you fellows have discovered at some point of time.
So if you have such information, share it with us, and with the national museums too!

All information contained in this article has been perceived by many and is a result of trusted and verified research. If any person finds some part of this article describing him/her, it could be intentional as well as unintentional. The author is not responsible for any harm you might inflict on yourself after reading this article and owns no responsibility whatsoever. So please if you were touched, leave a note here and, well do what you feel like doing.

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