Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Uber male

Once upon a time, a really long time ago, when the male species started having feelings for their female counterparts, albeit a mixture of several feelings physical and emotional, somewhere, something broke. The definitions mutated. Looking back, the first time the words 'girlfriend' 'boyfriend' originated, the first time couples went through the stages of social stigma and all. Taking a fast forward from the rewind, we have come a long way and the definition of boyfriend has come to an altogether new level.

The metrosexual man has to care for all the needs of the modern female, be mature and soft at the same time, but as the law of nature everything evolves. The metros thought it was cool enough to flaunt big buff muscles in branded tees and jeans. The guy who lived up to the typical romantic stuff in the movies. Say goodbye to all that . And say hello to the ubersexual male. The guy you wished never existed. The Boyfriend 2.0 . He knows how to flirt within the limits, as well as to where to draw the line so that any external stimulus will not get a overtly response in the form of a rotatory swishing so that the pivotal joint does not go for a rollercoaster. He knows how to be chique and suave while refusing to live in the stereotyped cliched typos of society. He will juggle his personal and professional life with ease, and will get what he wants. In short, he is the happening dude.

Above [ An example of an uber dude- The name is .... ah come on you know it ! ]

Looking at a brief overview, we can come to the necessitating conclusive evidence that some of us have observed the below points at some point in life. Curious? Have a look.

Article 1.0 - The discerning male has his eyes everywhere, and can zero in on any fixed target in no time.
Here is an example - supposing a beautiful lass is seated opposite you on a train. There are two categories. She might be taken or not taken. Now the metro man would have gone for the kill. The uber man, wait for it, grabs an opportunity. The girl might be into a conversation, and the hunter interrupts gently and will introduce himself. Or the target might be reading a novel/book, the uber will politely donate his comments and will introduce himself.

Article 2.0 - Once a uber male has got a girl, he will make her know his 'worth'!
Guys usually get girls to get jealous by making other girls talk to him, and if the jealousy part doesnt work, he has other tricks up his sleeves.

Article 3.0 - Metro men spend, uber men think!
Men will get girls to spend for them. And ways they have a plenty. The only trouble is how much they get, and in what form. Like sometimes your mobile may receive a surprise recharge.

Article 4.0 - Herculean looks are no real necessity!
Six pack abs are no real necessity, washboard abs will do for the male. Now lets not get over our heads here. Of course protrusions around the waist are a no-no !

Article 5.0 - Maturity and kiddishness go hand in hand!
Guys can get girls to play their to definition of maturity, as well as not be confined to the likelihood of kiddishness.

Article 6.0 - Brains to looks , einstein to ronaldo!
While metro men crave for a ronaldo like body, uber dudes think the other way around. Now , how many of you know Einstein? Ya ya the guy who gave us E = m*c*c among other scientific achievements. But do you also know that he was quite a ladies's man ? See his personal life. Even though he had a failed marriage, the great physicist was quite a charmer when it came to the opposite sex.

Many articles follow and the principles of getting a girlfriend and getting laid are mastered by the uber dude. And as the uber men are getting a plenty in number, the author thought there must be a balance between the metro men and the uber men, so is not willing to reveal any more articles or secrets regarding this concern. If all men go uber, where do we go ?!

The ubersexual male will try hard to keep his girl off romantic movies. He is also spearheading a campaign - love movies hatao, baaki sab dekho !

P.S 1- anyone thought of creating a FB page of this sort ?

P.S 2- all the above was a humorous interpretation, that obviously goes without saying !

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